Topkapi Palace and TILE!

I have written this post twice -- the last time while I was in labor -- and Blogger ATE the post with all 60+ photos both times! Here's hoping this works because these are some of my favorite photos from Istanbul.

After a leisurely breakfast at our hotel (Stayed up way too late thanks to Turkish coffee) we made the short walk to Topkapi Palace. It took a while to get through the gates, and to get an audio guide you need cash. Once in the palace, we were overwhelmed with the beauty!

Soldier playing with a stray dog

Istanbul kitteh

Entrance to Topkapi Palace

Beautiful typography

So ornate

Even the ceilings were impressive

We had lunch within the palace with a gorgeous view!

View of the Bosphorus Strait from our lunch table

Enjoying lunch

My traveling partner

spices for lunch

our lunch mate

the waiter--so dapper!

walkway in the harem

Courtyard of the harem

Some of the things in the palace are more than 1,000 years old. We even saw one of the world's largest diamonds -- the Spoonmaker's Diamond.

More than anything, I loved the tile in Istanbul, and especially Topkapi Palace. Here is a collage of my favorite patterns.

Evening view from our hotel of the Bosphorus

 We spent more than 4 hours in Topkapi Palace. After resting up, we went to a wonderful restaurant near our hotel in Sultanahmet Square called Palatium. We had good food--the best of our trip--and wine, and the atmosphere was really special. You can sit at tables, or on poufs on the rug smoking hookah. We also had baklava and ice cream--AMAZING.

Our waiter showed us what lay beneath the restaurant. There was plexiglass to show ruins below. We went down there and saw remnants of tunnels and rooms built by Romans 1,700 years ago! These rooms linked to the Sultan's quarters in Topkapi Palace.

love the pattern

We admired Turkish chandeliers the previous day at the bazaars. I figured I would just buy one when I got home, but the prices were much much higher for smaller chandeliers. We stopped in a shop and found the perfect chandelier, but didn't know how we'd get it home. The shop owners quickly offered to bubble wrap our purchase and they did a great job--served us tea while they did it too! We lovelovelove this chandelier. We need to fix the electrical connections before we can put it in our home, but we can't wait to put it up!

our chandelier!

Lamp in the restaurant

enjoying dinner

My fish. So good!

Zach's lamb

bread and hummus

baklava and ice cream

delicious tea

 So ended our third day in Istanbul!

Two Months Old

Two Months Old!

A much happier photo shoot than last month. Wilder was a ham! This month, Wilder:

• Weighs 11 lb, 12 oz and is 23.5 inches tall
• Smiles and coos - he hasn't met a stranger
• Stands up on our laps with assistance
• Holds his head up most of the time
• Discovered playing toys and he enjoys touching them (hasn't grabbed them yet)
• Likes to chew on his hands
• Has been to restaurants and even watched his first film in the movie theater, Frozen
• Likes to read books with mom and dad
• Likes going for walks in the stroller (most of the time)
• Sleeps between 5.5 and 8 hours in a stretch at night--we get up once a night. Last night he even slept 9 hrs 15 min before I had to wake him up!
• He is wearing 3 month clothes.

Here are some more photos!

Nine things I've learned the hard way about breastfeeding

Two-month-old Wilder. Such a cutie pie!

I started this post in December when Wilder was four weeks old, and as you'll see why, I waited to post it until I could end it on a positive note. FYI- don't read if you are squeamish about breastfeeding. You can just skip this post!

Confession time: Breastfeeding is really, really hard. But it gets better. I've had trouble with it since day 1. The one thing that has been constant is that Wilder gets plenty of milk and he's growing like a weed--so I have kept going. But it's really tough. I have read three books, consulted like 9 different professionals (multiple times) and read/watched countless articles and videos online. I have had moments where I am angry at the happy mom and baby in the video so easily latching and nursing with NO PAIN.

Many people have asked me how Wilder is sleeping. That was my biggest worry going into parenting, because I always felt I needed a lot of sleep. But after a few days, I kind of got adjusted to waking up several times a night to nurse. Zach also helps to get Wilder back to sleep and change his diaper, so we both share the duties at night. And now he sleeps 8 hours in a stretch! So sleeping hasn't been hard (SO FAR)-- breastfeeding was the one thorn in my side until very recently.

I'd like to share some things I've learned about breastfeeding in the last 8 weeks. I hope in doing so, I can help other new moms navigating these first few weeks. Please know these are my personal experiences. I'm not an expert on anything other than my own journey! My one regret is that because I had such a painful time, I holed up by myself a lot... Missing a lot of holiday celebrations. I also feel like the itty bitty newborn stage flew by while I was dealing with the pain and that makes me sad, because Wilder is on to the next stage and I feel like I missed out in enjoying that precious time.

So here we are, 9 things I've learned about breastfeeding:

1. Flat nipples can be temporary. Three lactation consultants at the hospital helped me with this during our stay. One gave me a nipple shield that I used for two weeks, which helped Wilder while my body got used to the shape it needed to be. However, few things incite more panic like losing track of a tiny clear bit of silicon in the middle of the night, when your baby is hungry... Zach hunted it down on multiple occasions. Eventually I learned to put it in a little pouch on my nursing pillow. I also learned the hard way that it's extremely important to clean the shield with hot soapy water after every feeding. Pain in the butt! But you don't want an infection. 

After two weeks, Wilder hated that shield with a passion and started pushing it aside, so even if I had wanted to use it to save me some pain later, he was over it. I also used an Evert-it a few times. I can't say if it worked that well. There are also ways you can manipulate your breast to make it easier for your baby to latch, which I found to be helpful. But overall, this problem went away in a few weeks.

 2. Tongue and lip ties can make or break your breastfeeding experience. A doula named Kathy O'Brien that encapsulated my placenta (ask me about it sometime :-)) told me an hour after Wilder was born that he had tongue and lip ties. The pediatrician in the hospital clipped his tie on the tongue on day 2, but it wasn't enough. This was our biggest ongoing problem because these made his latch too shallow and caused him to use his gums instead of his tongue and clamp down like a crab. My nipples became extremely damaged in two weeks and I didn't know why. I wasn't able to get help for days because of Thanksgiving and a massive ice storm. Wilder was nursing for 9+ hours a day during that time. I cried more during those days due to pain than I did during my 76 hour labor. 

Finally, my midwife friend Sarah was able to come see me and tell me he still had a tongue and lip tie. We made an appointment the next day with Dr. Oser, a dentist that specializes in tongue and lip tie removal--officially known as a frenulectomy. I wasn't supposed to have my appointment for an entire month and I was devastated. I had been counting down how many nursing sessions I had until I could get in--that's how bad it was. I could not have handled another month of nursing. Luckily, the office had a cancelation so we bundled up and Zach drove on ice to get us in that day. It was a quick cold laser treatment. The change in Wilder's latch was immediate, but the damage to my nipples was so severe it took a very long time for them to heal. He was also able to get more milk more quickly, which meant less time nursing.

3. Mouth therapy for your child post frenulectomy is SUPER IMPORTANT. I was instructed by the dentist to do several things for a few seconds 4x a day for four weeks to prevent Wilder's tongue and lip ties reattaching. He hated these exercises and screamed bloody murder every time. I felt AWFUL making my baby cry like this. He also didn't know how to use his tongue to suck properly, so I had to do other exercises to get him to suck on my finger to work his tongue and sucking instinct. Nursing was no fun because I had to do all this messing with his mouth and he hated it. Unfortunately, I wasn't doing the dentist exercises firmly enough... Or something. 

Wilder went from nursing pretty well to hurting me again one week after his surgery. I was in San Antonio for my brother's graduation, and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I didn't have access to any resources, so it was a long week of pain and longer nursing sessions. Once back in DFW, I had to get through Christmas and another week of time when people were unavailable before I could get to someone who diagnosed his latch and saw that it had reattached. Kathy also showed me that I was not doing the exercises with enough pressure--which could have attributed to his ties reattaching. It could have been a natural thing--not totally sure. 

That was on a Friday, and Monday morning I called Dr. Oser for an appt. I was again counting down nursing sessions, because my left nipple was extremely damaged (both were) and actually bleeding every time I nursed. The office was closed the entire week for New Year's! I cried. I was so angry at the holidays. I waited ANOTHER week and called that next Monday, but they only did those appointments on Fridays, so I had to wait till that Friday (our wedding anniversary) to get another appointment. That was exactly 4 weeks after his first surgery, and I'd been dealing with those ties for 3 of the weeks. Freaking holidays.

After that next surgery, you better believe I did the exercises properly after every single nursing session during the day. I am also taking Wilder to follow up appointments at the dentist every week until he is all healed because I don't want to take any chances. And as of right now, it hasn't reattached.

3. Homeopathic remedies can be extremely helpful. I'd planned to take Wilder to Mellanie Shepard, a lactation consultant, early on with my issues, but we got iced in so we had to cancel our appointment. I did eventually see her later, and she had some great remedies to help with Wilder's pain after his frenulectomy. I got them at Sprouts, and they are little balls that dissolve in your mouth. For Wilder, I added the balls to an ounce of water and squirted it in his mouth every 1-2 hours that first few days to help with pain. I can attest that he could do from crying to calm almost immediately after taking a 1/2 cc of this mixture. The homeopathics are:

• Arnica for pain 
• Hypericum for nerve pain
• Aconitum for sudden shock and trauma
• Staphysagria acts on teeth and alveolar periosteum 
• Belladonna for intense crying
• Chamomilla for soothing 

During the time at Christmas between when Wilder's latch reattached (but I didn't know) and I couldn't get to any help, Wilder was fighting while nursing, he would fuss and twist and pull on me... Mama is not made of rubber! Sarah suggested two essential oils, and she graciously gave them to me: Inside Out oil for tummy indigestion and Millenia oil for his neck and back, because the chiropractor was closed for the holiday week and he was out of alignment. I mixed each separately with coconut oil. I massaged inside out oil on Wilder's tummy, and it helps in the evening if he is fussy with digestion issues. I still use it now occasionally. I rubbed millenia oil on his neck and back. It helped with tightness and pain.

4. Babies can see the chiropractor. It might seem crazy, but we have taken Wilder to the chiropractor several times since he's been born. Dr. Terry Garcia is a family chiropractor, and I saw her all throughout my third trimester. She has worked on Wilder and helped get his body in alignment after the trauma of delivery. She also helps with post-frenulectomy adjustments and she gently encouraged the plates in his head to align correctly. Much of what she does for babies helps them breastfed better. An adjustment also helped Wilder stop resisting nursing when his tongue and lip ties had reattached.

5. Mastering several nursing positions gives you an arsenal for any situation. I was pretty comfortable with the cross-cradle and cradle holds early on. I had the My Brest Friend pillow, and that saved me in the early days. Sarah showed me how to nurse with the pillow unclipped and wilder in between me and the pillow--it snugged Wilder in to me closer. When he got fussy, changing it up like this helped. Both Sarah and Mellanie, and my doula Ashleigh all helped with Wilder's latch. I found that you can watch all the videos and read all the books/articles you want, but sometimes you need face to face help.

While waiting to see the dentist for the second time, Kathy showed me two more positions. One of the reasons Wilder was clamping down and fussing was perhaps due to a strong letdown. Laid-back nursing was extremely helpful in slowing my letdown for him. It eased the pain for me as well. It is obviously inconvenient to nurse in public because you have to lie down, but it got me through a really hard time. The other position is side-lying nursing. I tried this early on and it was too difficult to get everything positioned in the right place. But Kathy showed me how to do it and it really saved me those weeks I was waiting to see the dentist. The position calmed wilder down from flailing around, it forced him to take the correct latch and it was really restful for both of us. I love this one for his nighttime feedings. It's not convenient or quick, but when I have the time, it's a nice experience.

Now that I have several positions I am comfortable with, if he gets fussy with one, I can easily switch to another.

6. There are a plethora of nipple soothing potions, and they help. I've had sore, injured nipples for 8 weeks. I have tried a medicine cabinet's worth of products. Here they are with my opinions:

• Lanolin. This was too sticky and I abandoned it pretty quickly.
• Calendula oil. This is my favorite, and I still use it after every nursing. It's bound with olive oil and vitamin e.
• Coconut oil. I like this one because I already use it for stretch marks.
• Polysporin. Mellanie recommended this or Manuka honey for my open wounds. I chose polysporin because it was way way cheaper. 
• Vitamin E. Make sure to get natural, not synthetic. I used this every other time with polysporin.
• Saline. I mixed 1/2 tsp with one cup warm water and soaked my nipples every other feeding. I think this helped prevent infection.

My chiro recommended emu oil, but I had so many products already I decided to stick with what I had. Some friends really like Lansinoh SOOTHIES, but I didn't find them as helpful as calendula

7. Find resources to help you. I could not have made it through these last few weeks without the support and help of professionals, friends and info online. I can't recommend enough the importance of finding help!! Online sources that I like include Kellymom.com and Le Leche League International.

8. Take it easy, or your body will make you. Last week I got mastitis, which is an infection in the breast. It feels like the flu (fever, achiness) and a painful red hot spot on your breast where the duct is swollen. I'm starting to think it comes on sometimes if you push yourself too hard. I had just finished a full week of running and high intensity workouts--my first full week to exercise. I was in San Antonio, so I couldn't get in to my midwife. They called in a prescription for antibiotics, but it didn't go through before the offices closed (holiday, again). That turned our ok though. I started feeling bad Sunday night so I bulked up on vitamins and elderberry. Woke up Monday and realized I had mastitis, so I started drinking tons of water and coconut water. I started taking phytolacca (Sarah recommended it), as well as some of the other homeopathics I had gotten for wilder that treat fever and swelling. I also took lecithin. I rested and nursed as much as possible (yay side nursing) and massaged the knot. By Tuesday, the fever was gone, and by Friday the redness and knot was gone. If I had taken antibiotics, it would have knocked out the good bacteria and increased the chance of me or Wilder getting thrush. Something I did NOT want.

At first I was really upset. After everything we have been through, now I get mastitis?? But you know, the best cure was nursing a lot. And Wilder was a trooper. He nursed gently in whatever position I put him in. He was my little teammate.

9. Breastfeeding really is special, and worth the struggles. We are finally in a place where breastfeeding is easy and pain free. I love this closeness I have with my son. I love his expressions, and I love knowing I'm giving him something so vital. It is rewarding to have made it this far.

I hope I've been encouraging to somebody. I've had so much help, that I just wanted to share what I've learned! Now we are try to get Wilder to take a bottle... We've been trying for weeks! He liked it for 3 days and then just stopped. Wish us luck!

One Month Old

Not a happy first month photo, but that's life sometimes! Wilder turned one month old on Christmas day!

This month, Wilder:
-Can now hold his head up for a little while unassisted
-Smiles, and not just if he has gas
-Sleeps 3.5-5 hours at a time at night
-Has outgrown newborn clothes and diapers already!!

The Wild Arrival of Wilder Dean

Our little turkey at 3 days old!

Well, our baby is FINALLY here! After what seemed like forever! Following is Wilder Dean’s birth story—he’ll never live it down. :-)

Thursday, 11/21, evening

I started having contractions immediately after a cold front blew in. I was already 41 weeks 1 day (8 days overdue) so anything was exciting. I went to bed thinking they’d go away--they weren't timeable so I wouldn't consider this actual early labor.

Friday, 11/22 morning

I and woke up at 2:30 am Friday with regular contractions (I'd consider this early labor). After talking to our doula Ashleigh, we postponed my midwife checkup already scheduled that morning till after my prenatal chiro in the afternoon and tried to rest up as well as you can with contractions every 6 min.

Alfred was a great doula. He was by my side the whole time I was at home!

Friday 11/22 afternoon

My midwife Allison checked me and I was at 1 cm and 60% effaced, which was a lot more than the previous week, but we decided to go home and wait for more active labor. She also stripped my membranes, which brought on stronger and quicker contractions for a while, but they slowed down a little. Side note, we had Panera for dinner and while my salad and soup were light, rushing a meal with contractions in a restaurant was a bad idea. I don’t think I’ll be eating Panera anytime soon—I felt so sick for hours. Labored all night – it was harder to rest this time, waking up to more pain every 6 minutes.

Zach made a fire

Ellie was also by my side the whole time

Doula Alfred

Saturday, 11/23, early morning

It was a blessing to be home with Zach and pets while doing the things we learned about natural childbirth--yoga, different positions, tub, etc. Two days is a long time to be in early labor, but it was good to be at home in my comfort zone during that time. Saturday morning things got a little hard, but we switched from “relaxation” music to really great worship music and had a mini worship session. Zach prayed over me and we really gave things to God once again. This song – Oceans – will always remind me of my labor, because it was so instrumental in getting me through labor.

early morning worship/prayer session 

Oceans

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep

My faith will stand 

I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine 

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand

Will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed and you won't start now

  

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and You are mine

Saturday, 11/23, afternoon

Zach, Ashleigh and I went for me to get checked by Lindsay at the midwife center for progress and we had progressed to 3 cm, 80% effaced. We decided to go home for a few hours and come back to the hospital that evening to beat the huge winter storm (for TX) coming the next morning.

Saturday, 11/23, evening

We arrived at the hospital with Ashleigh at around 10 pm. Got checked in and settled. The midwife rooms at Harris are awesome, as are the staff. We started with all the labor positions and positions in the tub that made my contractions the most frequent and intense. My back started spasming, something I've never had problems with, but it got progressively worse from then on.

Sunday, 11/24, early morning

Candis the midwife checked me at 1:15 am and I was only at 3 cm, 90% effaced. I also got some fluids via IV for a short while. My back pain was really messing with settling into contractions mentally. We walked the halls, ventured to the cafeteria (SO hard!) tried biofreeze on my back, I rode the yoga ball (nicknamed Yoshi) and tried all kinds of yoga poses—you name it--and kept laboring. Ashleigh was a big help, giving suggestions of things to try, putting essential oil-soaked washcloths on my forehead, hot packs on my back, making me eat, etc.

Sunday 11/24, midmorning

After Candis checked me at 10 am where I was 4 cm—100% effaced and stretching to 6 cm, we talked with Candis and decided to break my water to hopefully get things kicked up. I got some more fluids as well. I rested a little bit. All of that helped and I had new energy for a little while, tried new positions and did the most painful/productive ones from earlier on, but my contractions started petering out--extremely frustrating. And the ones I had, I could not handle anymore combined with constant back pain and having had them for 3 days straight.

Sunday 11/24, afternoon

After only dilating to 5 cm by 3:30 pm, having tried a breast pump, and several other methods, and being exhausted mentally and physically, we talked about the need for pitocin to make my contractions return.

Sunday 11/24, evening

Since I’d reached my pain threshold, I decided to also get an epidural at around 7 pm before they started pitocin. I was able to rest for 3 hours. By 11:15 I was 8 cm and 0 station.

long long few days. About to be go time!

Monday, 11/25, early morning

By 2:15 am I was 9.5 cm. I was finally ready to push around 3:45. The epidural had worn off enough to where I could be on multiple positions—another thing I had hoped for out of the whole birth experience. I pushed from 3:45 to 6 am-- in part because my baby had his hand stuck by his head! Zach held my hand and encouraged me the whole time, and Ashleigh made me drink water and gave me chapstick between contractions (SO important). Pushing is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Wilder Dean made his debut at 6:08 am and laid him right on my chest. In that moment, the whole 75-hour ordeal was worth it!

Wilder weighed 7 lb. 15 oz and was 20 inches long.

I know many of you were aware that I wanted a natural birth—and a water birth if possible. Once pitocin and the epidural were on the table, I knew that was no longer an option, but I wasn't devastated or anything. What I had wanted was to feel (with Zach) like I was an active participant of decisions for the birth, and every step of the way we made our own choices after weighing options. “Natural” and waterbirth were secondary. I did every natural thing I wanted to do and spent a LOT of time in tubs. :-) So I don’t feel disappointed at all. I'm grateful that Wilder and I stayed healthy throughout the whole extended pregnancy and extended labor. With the next baby(yes I said it!) I honestly don't think I would do it any differently.

Looking back, I’m really happy with the whole experience. Zach, our doula, midwives and nurses were AMAZING.

Here are some photos--I was pretty beat up post partum for a few days, so I'm not posting any photos of me from those first two days. Sorry--you're not missing anything!

Love that daddy Zach got skin to skin right after birth too!

Super Dad

First diaper change!

Little pumpkin his first night in the world

Loves his daddy

Welcome home party!

lights are fascinating

Fine looking Boatwright men

Hanging out